Minnesota Parenting Plans, What The Heck Are They?

What is a parenting plan?

Parenting Plans are unlike in a traditional Minnesota divorce involving children, the court decides custody and visitation. The court outlines these decisions in an official order, often called a custody and parenting time order.

But Minnesota law offers an alternative. Instead of having a judge decide, parents can create their own custody arrangement. This is what we call a parenting plan in  Family Law.

A parenting plan is a formal agreement between both parents. It sets out how parenting will work after the divorce. If both parents agree to use a parenting plan, the court must accept it—unless the judge finds that it’s not in the child’s best interests.

Once approved, a parenting plan becomes a binding legal document. Like a court order, both parents must follow its terms.

What goes into a parenting plan?

Minnesota law requires certain parts of a parenting plan, and most judges will notice if you leave them out of the document. Think of these as the non-negotiables, the foundation you build the rest of the plan on.

At a minimum, your parenting plan must include:

• A detailed schedule showing when each parent has time with the child. (No “every other weekend-ish” — the court wants specifics.)

• A clear outline of who gets to make important decisions about the child’s life. This includes big-ticket issues like education, healthcare, and religion.

• A roadmap for how the two of you will handle any disagreements down the road. Because let’s face it—disagreements are bound to happen.

That’s the bare bones. But if you stop there, you’re likely to end up back in court later, trying to hash out what “we’ll figure it out” really meant.

That’s where the fun (and function) of the parenting plan really begins. You can customize it to fit your life—and your kid’s life—far beyond just who picks up on Wednesdays.

You can add anything you want  (sort of!)

• Relocation rules. Want to include a provision about moving the child out of state? You can—but only if both parents had lawyers during the creation of the plan. You’ll also need to specify a legal standard, like the “best interest of the child,” to guide that decision.

• Extracurricular expenses. Who’s footing the bill for hockey skates, piano lessons, or that robotics camp your kid is suddenly obsessed with?

• Access to records. Spell out who gets to see school reports, medical records, or anything else that affects your child’s life. Avoid the “I didn’t know!” argument entirely.

• Primary residence. Even with equal parenting time, one home might be designated as the child’s primary address for school, insurance, or mailing purposes.

• Behavioral conditions. If there are issues—say, one parent has a history with alcohol—you might include restrictions, like no drinking during parenting time.

• Dating disclosures. Want to add a rule about when your new significant other gets to meet the kids? You can. Maybe not first date… maybe not until it’s serious. Up to you.

These aren’t one-size-fits-all rules. What matters is that the plan works for your family and avoids vague assumptions that later cause tension.

You really can include just about anything, from bedtime routines to holiday travel rules. The sky’s the limit—within reason, of course.

And here’s my two cents after years of doing this: The more detailed your parenting plan, the better off everyone will be. A clear, thoughtful plan can prevent conflict, reduce stress, and make co-parenting less of a battlefield and more of a working relationship.

Does my parenting plan have to sound like it was written by a lawyer?

Good news: not at all.

If you’ve ever read a typical Minnesota court-issued custody order, you know it can sound like something pulled from a legal dictionary. Words like “parenting time,” “legal custody,” or “physical custody” might appear—and you’re left wondering if you need a translator.

One of the best parts of a parenting plan is this: you and your ex can use normal, everyday language. You’re not stuck using stiff legal terms if they don’t make sense to you. Want to say “mom time” instead of “parenting time”? Go for it. Prefer “exchange” to “transfer of physical custody”? That’s fine too.

There’s just one catch—you’ve got to define what your terms mean. If you say “visitation,” you should spell out exactly what that includes. Is it weekends only? Does it include holidays? Overnight? Afternoon pickup?

This flexibility is a real advantage. It lets you tailor the plan to your life, in your own words. But like most perks, it comes with a warning label.

Be careful about being too vague.

If the language in your plan is fuzzy—like “Dad will have the kids every other weekend unless something comes up”—you’re practically inviting future arguments. Worse, you may find yourself back in court trying to explain what you meant when you signed it.

Bottom line: Use plain language if you want, but make it crystal clear. Define your terms. Avoid phrases that leave room for “creative” interpretations. And don’t let a desire to keep the peace now set you up for conflict later.

Make it come alive

An important part of your parenting plan should be provisions for when and how the parenting plan may change.  For example, will changes be made if one parent so requests?  If both parents so request?  Or maybe you’d like to schedule a review of the plan at the start of the child’s school year each year.  Minnesota law allows parents to modify the plan’s time schedules or decision-making provisions, although you need a court order confirming the modifications to make them enforceable.

Do we really want a parenting plan?

A parenting plan works best when there is some level of cooperation between you and your ex.  If your current level of communication involves glowering silently at each other from across the table, a parenting plan may not be the best solution for your situation.  In such cases, a custody and parenting time order issued by the court may work better.

Ok, sounds great, how do I get one?

Typically, you’ll want to talk to your divorce/custody lawyer and tell them you are interested in a parenting plan.  If you don’t have a lawyer, you can try and do it yourself. I don’t recommend it, but it may be better than nothing.  The Fourth District has some great sample parenting plans for download (and their free!).

Information obtained in mankatofamilylaw.com may contain knowledgeable content about Minnesota Family Law that may be considered beneficial to some; however, in no way should this website or its contents be considered legal advice. Mr. Kohlmeyer is a Minnesota-licensed Attorney and cannot provide legal services or guidance to those outside of Minnesota. If you wish to retain Mr. Kohlmeyer as your Attorney in your Family Law matter, contact 507-205-9736.