Adultry and the No-Fault Divorce in Minnesota
Infidelity stings, I mean it really stings and can make you want your pound of flesh. When your spouse cheats, the emotional turbulence can feel like a storm—raging, directionless, and deeply personal. Understanding how adultery impacts a Minnesota divorce is essential in the North Star State. (Fun fact, most states have the same view on adultery these days.) In Minnesota, we are a “no-fault” divorce state. That means adultery, betrayal, and heartbreak may wreck your home, but they don’t necessarily sway the judge or have an impact on your divorce.
Let’s unpack what that means—both legally and emotionally—because while the law may not care why your marriage collapsed, you do. And frankly, you should.
No-Fault Divorce: The Legal Backbone Of The Divorce System
Minnesota’s divorce laws don’t ask “what happened?” or “Who is the better spouse?”, instead they ask “what now?” Under the no-fault divorce system, one party simply needs to state that the marriage has suffered an “irretrievable breakdown,” and the marriage will be over. That’s it. No need to prove cheating, abandonment, or even a particularly nasty Thanksgiving with the in-laws.
In fact, in Minnesota, most judges will stop a person in their tracks when you start talking about a cheating husband or wife; they simply do not want to hear about it.
This system was created to simplify the legal process and reduce the acrimony and fighting involved in dissolving a marriage. Gone are the days when private investigators were hired to catch spouses in compromising positions. Now, the court’s main goal is to fairly and equitably untangle two lives without regard of who did what to whom.
This can be both good news for you and can feel like you are getting the shaft at the same time! On one hand, you’re spared a trial that parades your spouse’s behavior, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or humiliated if you are the cheating spouse. On the other hand, it may feel like the system is ignoring the very pain that brought you here and you want justice!
A Short Look at The History of Adultery and Divorce in Minnesota (feel free to skip if you just want the facts!)
Before no-fault divorce became the norm, Minnesota’s approach to adultery was legally very strict, morally charged, and often brutally public (and embarrassing). Through the 1960s and into the early 1970s, courts functioned not just as arbiters of property or custody, but as moral judges weighing sin, blame, and character. Let’s take a look at three key cases that highlight the evolution of adultery and divorce in Minnesota, tracing the shift from fault to fairness.
1. Reiland v. Reiland (1968):
In Reiland v. Reiland, 280 Minn. 444 (1968), the Minnesota Supreme Court addressed a relatively straightforward—but emotionally fraught—issue: Was the husband entitled to a divorce based on his wife’s alleged adultery?
The court upheld the district court’s finding that the wife had indeed committed adultery and that the husband had not “condoned” it—a then legal doctrine that held that forgiveness (even implied forgiveness, like continuing to live together or resuming marital relations) could bar a later divorce.
At the time, adultery was still a criminal offense under then Minnesota Statutes § 609.36, punishable by up to a year in jail. While rarely prosecuted, the fact that it remained on the books gave adultery a moral and legal weight that often tipped the balance in divorce proceedings.
What makes Reiland notable isn’t just its holding, but its tone: the court treated the wife’s adultery as a very serious marital offense that undermined the fabric of the marriage (and her ability to be a good mother). The husband’s own conduct wasn’t scrutinized nearly as closely, just that his wife had been an adulteress.
2. Lobash v. Lobash (1969):
Just a year later, in Lobash v. Lobash, 283 Minn. 255 (1969), the court took a more nuanced approach to fault and fairness. This case involved mutual recriminations—a kind of legal standoff where both spouses accused the other of misconduct, including adultery.
The issue: If both parties are at fault, can either of them get a divorce?
Minnesota still followed a fault-based divorce model in the 1960s, and if both parties were guilty, that could result in a denial of divorce altogether—effectively sentencing a couple to remain legally married despite mutual unhappiness or betrayal. But in Lobash, the court went another direction, It ruled that the husband’s conduct (adultery and cruelty) outweighed the wife’s misdeeds and granted the divorce in her favor.
This case marked a subtle but important shift: the court moved away from moral absolutism and toward comparative fault, weighing who was “more at fault” rather than requiring total innocence.
Beyond the 1970’s
By the early 1970s, Minnesota—like much of the nation—began to reevaluate its approach to marriage. The landmark change came with the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act (UMDA), which influenced Minnesota’s eventual adoption of no-fault divorce in 1974.
Under Minn. Stat. § 518.06, a divorce could now be granted on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, without proving adultery or any other misconduct.
Ok Ok, I hear you, You aren’t in Mr. Kohlmeyer’s 5th period history class any more! (Go Bears!) now we can talk about 2025 and what impact Adultry has on a divorce and custody!
Adultery and the Court: When It Does Matter
Just because Minnesota doesn’t require blame doesn’t mean adultery is completely irrelevant. It may not affect whether you get divorced, but it can still shape how certain aspects of the divorce play out (usually not monetarily, though!).
1. Child Custody Considerations
The court’s main concern in custody disputes is the best interests of the child. It’s what the law and Minn. Stat. 518.17 require. Adultery on its own isn’t typically considered unless it impacts parenting and the kids. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it can be a big deal!
Say a parent prioritizes time with their new lover over time with the kids. Or perhaps introduces children to this new relationship prematurely or inappropriately. Judges pay close attention to such choices. Courts may view a parent who’s distracted or irresponsible as less suitable for primary custody. In short, if the affair interferes with the kids’ well-being, expect it to enter the courtroom.
2. Use of Marital Assets
The second major way adultery can affect the case is financial. If a spouse spent marital funds wining, dining, or even renting love nests for their paramour, that’s not just hurtful—it’s legally relevant.
Known as “dissipation of marital assets,” this kind of financial misbehavior can lead the court to award a greater share of assets to the wronged spouse. Minnesota courts are interested in fairness, and spending shared money on a side relationship rarely looks fair.
My Spouse Cheated—Should I File First?
There’s a common belief that filing first gives you an advantage. In some cases, it might—especially if you’ve done the preparation. But in no-fault states, being the petitioner doesn’t automatically make you the “winner.”
However, being first can allow you to set the tone. You control the narrative, select the jurisdiction (in rare interstate cases), and can show the court that you’re proactive and organized. So yes, it can help—but only if you’re ready.
Should I Confront My Spouse in Court?
You can, but it might backfire. Judges aren’t interested in moral grandstanding. They’re interested in evidence, parenting plans, and balance sheets. Venting your fury in court might feel satisfying in the moment, but it can also undermine your credibility.
Save the confrontation for your journal, your therapist, or a heartfelt conversation far from the bench. The courtroom is not the stage for emotional catharsis—it’s for legal decisions.
Children and Infidelity: What to Tell Them
This is one of the toughest parts. When kids are old enough to understand, they’ll inevitably have questions. Should you tell them the truth?
Most experts agree: be age-appropriate, be honest, but don’t overshare Judges don’t like that. Avoid blaming language. “We’re getting divorced because we couldn’t make our relationship work” is usually sufficient.
Dragging the kids into the moral battle only harms them. Let them come to their own conclusions, in their own time. Your job is to protect their innocence—not weaponize their trust.
Will a Cheating Spouse Lose Custody?
Not automatically. As mentioned, adultery alone isn’t enough. But if their behavior endangers or destabilizes the children, it can absolutely affect custody.
Infidelity that disrupts the children’s lives—especially when new partners are involved too soon—can weigh against the cheating spouse.
Can I Sue the Cheater or the Affair Partner?
In Minnesota, the answer is no. We don’t allow “alienation of affection” claims. (see. Minn. stat. 553.01), so you can’t sue the person who cheated or the person who he or she cheated with. While that might seem unfair, it prevents further litigation and finger-pointing.
So, while some states allow for this kind of lawsuit, Minnesota does not allow it. I’d urge you not to focus on this; instead, focus on moving the case and your life forward.
A Final Word: The Law Isn’t the End of the Story
Minnesota’s no-fault divorce laws may not punish cheater, but they do allow a person to move on without the added trauma of a fault-based legal battle. Focus on what matters: your children, your finances, and your future.
You can’t control how your spouse acted. But you can control what you do next.
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