How Does The Judge Decide Who Gets The Kids In MN Custody Cases?

Deciding The Best Interest Of Kids In Custody Cases

UPDATED: Sept 2025

As a divorce lawyer, I’m constantly surprised by how infrequently clients ask about this fundamental question: how does a judge ACTUALLY decide custody in Minnesota cases?

Perhaps it’s the whirlwind of emotions and logistics during a divorce that leaves basic questions unasked. Or, maybe, it’s our uniquely American faith in the justice system – a belief that fairness will prevail, even if the exact process remains a mystery. Sort of like, I enjoy Keibosa sausages, but I never want to see how they are made!

Minnesota Best Interest Factors

While our justice system is commendable, it doesn’t rely on magic formulas, especially when it comes to child custody. In Minnesota, judges meticulously evaluate each case based on a set of thirteen factors outlined in Minnesota Statutes 518.17.

It’s important to understand that while these factors hold equal weight, and the judge doesn’t assign points like a football game (it’s not “wife 8 vs. husband 4” scenarios here!). Instead, they carefully consider each factor before reaching a final decision.

Or, and I think this is much more likely, that as Americans we believe that the justice system will, well, be just!  We have an inherent belief that justice will prevail, were not sure how, but it will prevail and will be perfect.

Our justice system is good, possibly the best in the world, but the Judge does not just use a magic formula to determine custody in Minnesota. The way custody is determined is not done by some magic formula, but instead by 12 factors.  In Minnesota, the Judge will use the law (Minn. Stat 518.17) and will look at 12 (sometimes four sub) factors. 

The factors are (as of 2025):

1. a child’s physical, emotional, cultural, spiritual, and other needs, and the effect of the proposed arrangements on the child’s needs and development;
2. any special medical, mental health, developmental disability, or educational needs that the child may have that may require special parenting arrangements or access to recommended services;
3. the reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient ability, age, and maturity to express an independent, reliable preference;
4. whether domestic abuse has occurred in the parents’ or either parent’s household or relationship; the nature and context of the domestic abuse; and the implications of the domestic abuse for parenting and for the child’s safety, well-being, and developmental needs;
5. any physical, mental, or chemical health issue of a parent that affects the child’s safety or developmental needs;
6. the history and nature of each parent’s participation in providing care for the child;
7. the willingness and ability of each parent to provide ongoing care for the child; to meet the child’s ongoing developmental, emotional, spiritual, and cultural needs; and to maintain consistency and follow through with parenting time;
8. the effect on the child’s well-being and development of changes to home, school, and community;
9. the effect of the proposed arrangements on the ongoing relationships between the child and each parent, siblings, and other significant persons in the child’s life;
10. (the benefit to the child in maximizing parenting time with both parents and the detriment to the child in limiting parenting time with either parent;
11. except in cases in which domestic abuse as described in clause (4) has occurred, the disposition of each parent to support the child’s relationship with the other parent and to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact between the child and the other parent; and
12. (the willingness and ability of parents to cooperate in the rearing of their child; to maximize sharing information and minimize exposure of the child to parental conflict; and to utilize methods for resolving disputes regarding any major decision concerning the life of the child.

A common myth circulating among parents embarking on the journey of a custody case is the belief in a magical age, a specific point in a child’s life when their voice suddenly becomes the deciding factor in court. This misconception paints a simplified picture of a process that, in reality, is anything but simple. The truth is, there’s no such magic age. The idea that once a child hits a certain milestone, a judge will automatically take their preference as the final word, is a misunderstanding of how the legal system operates in these delicate matters.

In Minnesota, as in many states, the court’s approach to involving a child in custody decisions is nuanced and considers a multitude of factors beyond just age. While it’s true that the opinions of bright, articulate children, particularly those over the age of 12, might be given consideration, it’s essential to understand that this is entirely at the judge’s discretion. The court’s primary concern is the child’s best interest, which encompasses a wide range of considerations, from emotional and physical well-being to stability and the capacity of each parent to nurture the child’s development.

Judges weigh these factors carefully, understanding that a child’s preference, while important, is just one piece of a much larger puzzle. They consider the child’s maturity level, the reasons behind their preference, and how it aligns with their overall welfare. It’s a process that requires sensitivity and discernment, as the impact of these decisions will resonate through the child’s life for years to come.

This meticulous approach highlights the complexity of custody trials. It’s not a straightforward calculation or a simple matter of listening to a child’s stated preference. The legal system’s goal is to ensure a decision that serves the best interest of the child, recognizing that this involves a careful balancing of many different elements.

For parents, understanding this aspect of child custody trials can be eye-opening. It underscores the importance of preparing for a trial that considers the full scope of the child’s life and needs. It’s a reminder that success in these cases requires more than just presenting a child’s preference to the court. It requires a comprehensive strategy that addresses all the factors the court deems relevant to the child’s well-being.

This complexity also serves as a call to action for parents to engage deeply with the legal process, seeking to understand not just the letter of the law but its spirit. Engaging with experienced legal counsel, who can navigate the nuances of family law and advocate effectively for the child’s and parent’s interests, becomes paramount.

In closing, dispelling the myth of the “magic age” in custody trials is crucial for parents facing this challenging journey. It opens the door to a deeper understanding of the legal system’s goals and the multifaceted nature of these decisions. It prepares parents to approach their case with a more informed perspective, focusing on what truly matters—their child’s long-term happiness and well-being.

If you are in a Minnesota custody dispute be sure to look at the factors, see where your strengths in the case lie and be prepared to help your lawyer prove the 12 factors. 

Good luck!

Everything you read on mankatofamilylaw.com is designed to help you understand the twists and turns of Minnesota family law. Think of it as a roadmap with helpful landmarks, not a personalized GPS. While the content may be informative (and maybe even useful), it’s not legal advice.

Mr. Kohlmeyer is licensed to practice law in Minnesota only. If you’re navigating custody issues outside of Minnesota, he can’t represent you (no matter how much you like the blog). If you’re in Minnesota and would like to retain Mr. Kohlmeyer for your family law matter, please call 507-205-9736.