If you’re a parent navigating the ups and downs of co-parenting after a divorce or separation, chances are you’ve encountered some challenges along the way. And that’s totally normal!
Parenting, especially when you’re not on the same page as your co-parent (or as you now call them your “ex”), can feel like trying to juggle while riding a unicycle—hard to balance and sometimes impossible to keep everything in the air. But that’s where a Parenting Consultant (PC) can step in to help.
You might be wondering, “What exactly is a Parenting Consultant, and do I really need one?” Let’s dive into some FAQs to make things clearer for you, so you can decide if using a PC might be the right call for your family and your situation after the divorce.
If you’re so inclined to read the actual law on it is right here in the court rules that help define what a PC’s job actually is.
What Is a Parenting Consultant?
Think of a Parenting Consultant as a neutral referee or coach who helps you and your co-parent resolve parenting disagreements. Whether you’re arguing over the kids’ extracurriculars or can’t agree on a holiday schedule, a PC steps in to help mediate and offer solutions.
While their primary job is to help the parents come to an agreement, if you two can’t see eye to eye, the PC has the authority to make a binding decision.
In short, a Parenting Consultant is there to help take the weight off your shoulders and, most importantly, keep your kids’ best interests front and center.
Do You Need a Lawyer to Have a Parenting Consultant?
Nope! in fact that’s one of the reasons why PC’s are so pop[ular that you don’t need to have one! So, while You don’t need a lawyer to work with a Parenting Consultant, you do need a court order (and probably a lawyer to help get that court order) appointing the Parenting Consultant.
You’ll often find that Minnesota Parenting Consultants come from various professional fields—psychologists, social workers, and mental health professionals are also commonly in these roles. Each brings a unique set of skills to the table, but they all share the same goal: helping families work through their parenting challenges.
What Does a Parenting Consultant Do, Exactly?
To put it simply, a Parenting Consultant helps resolve parenting disputes. They can guide you on everything from scheduling parenting time (like who gets the kids for spring break) to managing communication between co-parents when things get heated. And let’s face it—parenting is emotional, and disagreements are bound to pop up.
Here’s how it typically works:
- If you and your co-parent disagree on something child related, the PC steps in to help mediate and educate.
- If you still can’t agree, the PC will make a decision, and that decision is binding (meaning you both have to stick to it unless a court says otherwise).
- A PC always operates with the kids’ best interests in mind, so you can feel confident that their focus is on creating a stable and supportive environment for your children.
Can a Parenting Consultant Be Ordered by the Court?
Yes, but only if both parents agree. The court can’t make you work with a Parenting Consultant without your consent. It’s a voluntary process, and if both parties think it’s a good idea, the court will sign off on it, turning it into an official court order. This means that you’re agreeing to work with the PC and follow their recommendations or decisions.
Can a Parenting Consultant Change Custody Orders?
Here’s where it gets a little technical. A Parenting Consultant can’t change the actual custody arrangement itself. For example, they can’t decide that the kids should go from living with mom to living with dad full-time.
That’s something only a court can do. However, they can make decisions related to parenting time schedules (like swapping weekends or figuring out who’s driving the kids to soccer practice) and other day-to-day logistical issues that often come up.
Why Would You Choose to Use a Parenting Consultant?
Great question! Using a Parenting Consultant can save you a lot of time, stress, and money. Here’s why many Minnesota families decide to work with a PC:
- Less conflict: When co-parents can’t agree, tension builds. A PC helps reduce this conflict by stepping in early, offering guidance before things escalate into a full-blown legal battle.
- It’s faster: Instead of waiting for months for a court date, a PC can help resolve disputes quickly.
- Less expensive: The hourly rate of a PC is usually quite a bit less than your lawyer, which means using a PC is typically much cheaper than having each parent hire their own attorney to fight it out.
- It’s better for the kids: At the end of the day, it’s about reducing stress and conflict for your children. Less fighting between the parents means less stress for the kids.
- You can stop calling family law attorneys: Since the PC works directly with you don’t need to keep calling (and paying for) your lawyer!
Who Pays for a Parenting Consultant?
Generally, the cost is split between both parents, but there’s flexibility here. Sometimes parents agree to divvy up the fees based on who can afford more, or the court order might allow the PC to allocate fees differently if one parent is misusing the process.
For example, if one parent is consistently dragging the other back into disputes that could be avoided, the PC might shift more of the fees to that parent.
What Are the Requirements to Be a Parenting Consultant?
It’s not a job just anyone can do! PCs go through extensive training. They need to understand child development, mental health, the effects of substance abuse, family dynamics, parental alienation, and more. Many PCs also specialize in conflict resolution and know how to manage high-conflict situations.
Their training equips them to deal with the intense emotions that come with co-parenting after divorce or separation, while keeping a cool head and focusing on the kids’ well-being.
How Is a Parenting Consultant Different From a Mediator?
A mediator helps parents negotiate and reach an agreement—but that’s it. They don’t make decisions for you. The big difference with a Parenting Consultant is that they can make a decision when you and your co-parent hit a wall.
Another key distinction is confidentiality. Mediation is private; what happens in mediation stays there. On the flip side, anything that happens in parenting consulting can be communicated to the court if a parent challenges a PC’s decision. PCs are typically involved with families for a longer period, sometimes years, which gives them a deeper understanding of family dynamics.
They might meet with the parents separately, or even talk to the children directly, and they often play a more active role in resolving disputes.
In Conclusion: Is a Parenting Consultant Right for You?
Using a Parenting Consultant can be a game-changer for co-parents who struggle with ongoing disputes. They offer an efficient, cost-effective way to resolve issues without dragging things back into court.
Most importantly, they keep your kids’ needs at the forefront, helping to minimize conflict and create a more stable environment for them.
If you’re considering working with a Parenting Consultant in Minnesota, it’s worth discussing your options with your lawyer. A PC can be a valuable resource, but it’s crucial to make sure it’s the right fit for your family’s unique situation.
Remember, when parenting gets complicated, help is available—and you don’t have to handle it all on your own!