“Did I get a fair divorce settlement?” I get this question a lot.
About once a month, someone calls or emails with a version of this:
“Hey, my ex and I were married for six years, and I’m only getting $507 a month in child support. Oh, and I had to pay some money from my retirement?” Was that fair? (followed by, if it’s not fair, can you help?)
I get why people ask. When you feel like the outcome of the divorced doesn’t match what you expected, you want a simple answer, and you want it fast.
The problem is that “fair settlement” in a divorce is rarely a yes or no question. A good lawyer can give you an opinion, but not from a five minute call or a three sentence email.
Here are the top three reasons why.
1. We (the lawyer you call) don’t have all the facts
Most divorces take many months to resolve, whether it’s through mediation, negotiation, or trial preparation.
In a quick call to a lawyer you’ve never met before, who doesn’t know you, the lawyer usually hears the Reader’s Digest version. Key details are often missing, including:
- Income and earning capacity (including overtime, bonuses, self-employment, and underemployment)
- Parenting time schedule in practice (not just what’s written down)
- Child care, medical insurance, and unreimbursed medical expenses
- Property values, debts, and whether anything was nonmarital
- What concessions were traded to reach the final deal (did you settle quickly to be done?)
Without the full story, any quick opinion is more guess than legal analysis.
2. We don’t have the legal documents in front of us
People are almost always doing their best to explain what happened. Still, I can’t count how many times a client told me one thing and the decree, judgment, or stipulation said something else.
If you want a meaningful second opinion, the lawyer needs to review the actual paperwork, such as:
- The Judgment and Decree
- The Marital Termination Agreement or Stipulation
- Child support worksheets and any income findings
- Parenting plan, custody order, and any amendments
- Financial affidavits and key exhibits (if they exist)
If the question is “did I get a fair deal,” the documents are how that gets answered.
3. You haven’t hired a lawyer (yet)
This might sound blunt, but it’s the reality. Calling a lawyer is not the same as hiring one.
A fair settlement review takes time. A lawyer has to read the documents, ask follow-up questions, spot issues, and then explain options and deadlines. That’s professional work, and it’s what you’re paying for.
You wouldn’t expect a dentist to diagnose a complicated problem from a short telephone call. Divorce is no different; if you want a real answer, I’m afraid it will cost you.
The better way to get a real answer
If you want a serious opinion on whether your divorce settlement was fair, do this instead:
- Schedule an appointment for a settlement review (a “second opinion” consult).
- Gather your documents before the meeting.
- Write down the 5 to 10 questions you most want answered.
- Be prepared to pay for a few hours of the lawyer’s time.
That’s the process that leads to a real answer.
One important caution: depending on your situation, deadlines may limit what can be changed. Some cases have options (like a child support modification), while others are much harder to reopen. A lawyer can tell you what is realistic after reviewing your paperwork and timeline.
Information obtained in mankatofamilylaw.com may contain knowledgable content about Minnesota Family Law that may be considered beneficial to some; however, in no way should this website or its contents be considered legal advice. Mr. Kohlmeyer is a Minnesota licensed Attorney and cannot provide legal services or guidance to those outside of Minnesota.
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