There’s no play here. There’s no angle. There’s no champagne room. I’m not a miracle worker, I’m a janitor. The math on this is simple. The smaller the mess, the easier it is for me to clean up.

What Do Divorce lawyers And Janitors Have In Common?

One of my favorite movies (ok, scenes in a movie as the rest is pretty slow) is the scene in Michael Clayton where the lead character goes to a house of an important client of the firm who just hit a runner with his Jaguar and then fled the scene.  It’s my favorite scene because that scene, more than any other I can think of, portrays what criminal and family law attorneys do on a daily basis.  We clean up other people’s messes.

As a general rule, we are not miracle workers. Now and again, we manage to get lucky, but generally, we just try and clean up the mess that our clients make or are at least a part of.  Take what is happening more and more in Minnesota, the issue of having only one lawyer on a divorce case. 

The other side wants to save some money and not hire a lawyer, thinking, I’m sure, they are smart and can read the legal paperwork as well as any lawyer can.  Well, I’m here to tell you you can’t. 

You will screw it up.  You will assume something is true or the law when it isn’t, then you’ll call me and I’ll try and clean up your mess, and you will pay more than if you had just hired me in the first place.  

Why am I saying this? Just trying to drum up business? Huh, Kohlmeyer? I wish that were the case, right now every good family and criminal defense lawyer I know is as busy as they can handle, working 10+ hour days and some weekends. 

Divorces are way up, modification of post-dissolution cases are way up, and even paternity filings are way up; crime is on the rise.  Every good family lawyer is swamped, and we’re going to be even more swamped by the problem of being a janitor, fixing problems you didn’t know you had at the time you signed a binding legal agreement.

So, how can this lawyer’s rant about being a janitor help you? Joe or Jane Client? Well, here are some tips:

• Help your lawyer by staying organized.
• Don’t sign an agreement until a lawyer at least looks at it! Can’t afford a lawyer? Call around, you’ll find one that will work with your income and may even set up a payment plan (busy lawyers will demand money in the trust account; lawyers who aren’t busy may work with you). 
• Don’t say or do anything you will feel awkward about showing the Judge, your mother or your priest. In other words, don’t call your children’s mother or father names via text!
• Don’t trust your soon-to-be ex.  He promised he’d love you forever and we know how that worked out right?

There you go, how not to have your janitor clean up a big mess.  Good luck.

Information obtained in mankatofamilylaw.com may contain knowledgeable content about Minnesota Family Law that may be considered beneficial to some; however, in no way should this website or its contents be considered legal advice. Mr. Kohlmeyer is a Minnesota licensed Attorney and cannot provide legal services or guidance to those outside of Minnesota. If you wish to retain Mr. Kohlmeyer as your Attorney in your Family Law matter, contact 507-625-5000