Can I Date During A Divorce?
One question I get a lot is “Is it ok to start dating when I’m just separated but not yet divorced from my ex?” Well, I’m not a counselor or a pastor, I’m a lawyer and generally we try and avoid problems before they start. So, with that siad the short answer is, if you have kids it probably isn’t the best idea to start dating while you’re still married and here’s why.
Reason #1: It sends the wrong message to the Judge and your Soon To Be Ex.
It sends the message that you are ready to start confusing the children by bringing a new significant other into the picture and that you are spending your extra time not with your kids, who need the extra attention during the divorce, but instead you are going after that new fella or gal. The message it sends to your Soon To Be Ex is that you thought so little of the marriage that you are putting yourself back on the market before the body of the marriage isn’t even in the ground.
Reason #2: It Is like Pouring Gas On The Fire.
If you want to see your ex (either man or woman) get mad, the best way is to parade a younger/better looking/ more well to do/ etc, etc.. person in front of him or her. Even better if you bring this new person around the kids. If you want to give your Soon To Be Ex more Ammunition and the will to fight you in court, this is the best way. Remember my favorite saying, “When you go to trial no one wins but the lawyers.” Your goal should be to get as much out of the marriage as you can, spend as little in attorney’s fees as possible and do what’s best for the children. Parading your new significant other in front of your ex, is not the way to get this.
So, now you know a great tip on how to minimize conflict, just hold off a few months before you hit the dating scene and it will pay big dividends in the future!
Rosengren Kohlmeyer, Law Office