Is the divorce really over?
Wait a minute, you’re thinking “but the case is over, we went to court and the Judge ruled! What are you talking about!?” Well the problem is that just because you are divorced you still have kids to raise!
This is one key concept I see parents forgetting all the time. Remember that just because you are no longer married to your ex, if you have kids, you still have years and years of dealing with him or her on an almost daily basis. You have football games, dances, confirmation, graduations, weddings, grandchildren, baptisms…and the list goes on and on. Thus, you can see why you will have a relationship, yes a different kind of relationship, but a relationship with your ex for years and years to come.
The other issue people often forget about is that if your relationship gets worse after the divorce, your ex can file a motion to bring you back to court, and he or she can do it on a regular basis. There is the issue of child support, which can be a constant source of problems. If you two are having problems and can’t work it out you can be brought back to court for what is called a Post-Dissolution motion. This means any issues you have can be brought up later, such as changing pick up/drop off times and locations, parenting time days, or holiday days and times. I’ve seen cases where 20 years after the divorce the parties still hate each other so much they can’t talk to each other and find every reason they can to fight.
My free advice? Learn to get along. Learn to tolerate your ex. Don’t get worked up about the small things, so what if your ex is 10 minutes late on an exchange? Does it REALLY matter? I bet it doesn’t.
Jason Kohlmeyer
Rosengren Kohlmeyer, Law Office
Mankato, MN 56001
507-625-5000
About Jason
[...] really “free” from you spouse. I have talked about the lack of finality in a divorce before. But it’s true, if you have children you will never be “free” from your ex. [...]